It's hard to believe that such tiny pills can cause the most exhausting sickness a body should never have to bear. Intense migraines that makes light painful; heavy nausea that brings me to my knees in front of the toilet; overwhelming pressure in my head making the idea of driving nails into my skull sound like relief. Alright, alright! So that may be a little drastic.
My point, all this just to get rid of an infection that simply brings a discomforting burning sensation. Its like I ran into a wall to relieve the pain of a stubbed toe. Silly me! I should have known that calling doctors only make it worse. Home remedies are the way to go, even though mine weren't working. This yuckiness is all 24/7 including nausea in my dreams.
To put to use the good advice I always pass along to others.... TOUGH COOKIES! And now I will go and "toss those cookies".

I didn't marry my best friend. Otherwise I would be going by Katherine Marie Hipps-Armstrong and I don't know, but that just doesn't flow right. Though for many years, I was convinced that my future last name was going to be Armstrong, flowy or not. But before I get off on a bunny trail...
I married the apple of my eye and infatuation of my heart and needless to say, those two don't make a solid foundation for a "as long as live" promise before God. It was apparent to all, including me, but I was prideful enough to think that I was loyal enough to beat the odds. Too bad I had no idea what I was up against. But as they say...."You've come a long way baby!"
I am so amazed! I don't look on my husband with awe and adoration anymore. I see him with respect and a gratefulness that he chose me as the love of his life. I am no longer infatuated with a fantasy of steamy, passionate love but am finding moments of pure joy in being a part of his goals and life.
I am opening up the closed secrets of my heart and releasing my guilt and suppressed feelings before him in all honesty. There is such relief in revealing the burdens of my heart to my husband, having faith and hope that the he will not be disgusted and abandon me when I need his acceptance the most. He gained my trust when he listened to me and then offered me his arms just to let me feel how much he cares.
Last night, I made the love of my life my best friend.

And God still loves me! Today is a better day. Time doesn't just heal hurts but it brings clarity to fuzzy situations. I spent a good part of the evening with family and friends celebrating my Dad's BIG 50 and in a span of 2 hours, God smoothed out every wrinkle I was struggling with.
1. I am in a class all of my own.
2. I am stuck in a rut every day.
3. I need provisions for my priorities (school and a car).
So here is how God put His arms around my rebellious, temper-tantrum throwing self and told me that He cares about even the most insignificant parts of my life.
I talked with a friend I had been keeping at arms length and realized I need her friendship just as much as she needs mine. I thanked God for my situation in life after talking with a single mom who is struggling to stay healthy to make it to work every day to bring in the income all the while dealing with her 4 year old daughter visiting the emergency room in the middle of the night with every kind of imaginable sickness passed on to her from day-care. Yeah, I have reason to be content.
I was approached by my mom's amazing, flexible, generous boss who offered me a position in the office. Oh did I mention that he is amazingly flexible with my schedule and is even allowing me to do my work at home? Oh did I also say that he is paying me $15 an hour to do the simple task of
copying and pasteing figures?
I figured out how this whole financial aid thing works and was able to submit all my paperwork for this year and the next. Now for God to bring in the dough I so desperately need to finish school! Then I had the crazy thought of trying to get myself registered for Fall classes even Admissions told me to forget about it until they had my final transcript from BCC which doesn't come until the end of August. Well, I believe that God is in the business of working miracles because only by sitting back and watching Him work did I see many people go out of their way to register me for 4 classes with decent professors for my Fall semester. My spinning mind has come to a rest.
Now about that car....

Its what my mom used to whisper as she rocked me to sleep as I cried uncontrollably. Its what the LORD is saying to my heart as my mind rages against a newly faced reality. I am faced with an unchangeable future and my will is fighting it every step because my flesh is gazing elsewhere, longing for a life full of excitement, from one scene to the next. I would have my heart broken and wind up out of control but my flesh wants to go along for the ride. My spirit calls me away to a higher ground, to a life filled to the fullest of contentment and joy. A life filled with peace....
It is a matter of faith. Will I believe and wait upon the LORD for my fullfillment and find rest? Or will I follow the lust of my heart, still wanting more and continually coming up empty? Time will tell but as I struggle to hold my head above water, I am reminded of how much greater He is than the battle I fight.
I have faith that God will never let me get away from Him. And that brings me the assurance and security that I need.

It's been a long time since I have felt this out of it...
My throat is scratchy.
I hear a rush in my ears when I lean over.
My stomach is nauseous.
I am experiencing a burning sensation "there".
I am trying to get rid of a persistant cold sore.
I have itchy bites all over my feet (note to mosquitos: my legs hold more blood than my feet).
I am woozy whenever I stand up.
One side of my nose is stuffy.
And I feel so tired that I could just put my head down on this keyboard right now and fall into a sweet, deep sleep. Ha! I must be tired if I think this keyboard would be more comfy than my pillow. What is bothering me most though are my itchy feet. I don't want to scratch them because that would cause ugly brown scabs (ugh, just the word makes me shudder) and those don't pair well with my ever popular flip-flops. So I have, count 'em, 5 itchy bites that I can't scratch and it is making me irritated. Picture a frown and arms crossed over chest with a big HMPH! And the childish side of me rears it's immature head....
Oh but it is always in the darkest moment that God's light shines the brightest!
I just remembered that I have an anti-itch ointment and I can put those on my irritated toesies. Ahhhhhhhh! Isn't is interesting how a little bit of white cream can make my day all the brighter? Now I need to figure out how to avoid the raw garlic that will end this chest cold but make my skin vent putrid fumes. Maybe something in the fridge will be the cure for this nausea? I look forward to Heaven where I will never have another cold sore and will be UTI-free!
If I were living in Bible times, they would probably make me shout "Unclean! Unclean!" to anyone passing by....

You can't touch this trio...

Sarah, Michelle, and Kate.
Stickybuns, Poons, and K.Mo.
The BOBCAT, GATOR, & OWL.

We stick together even though we are miles apart from each other. We get off the phone with one and go call the other, alot. We tell one what we talked about with the other one. It's always "Ya know, Sarah said..." or "I told Michelle..." or "Kate called me" (or so I think.... hm, what do they say about me?) Just when we thought it was the end, it wasn't over. We are all really different. I am married and wondering. Sarah is waiting and wise. Michelle is single and experienced. Those are the words that come to mind when I think of us, and those words are all positive, let me assure you.

Sarah is so steadfast! You can't move that girl and she is so compassionate and caring that I run to her when I need some love. She has so much wisdom for any situation but she never judges my faults and she is a true example of sacrifice.
Michelle is a walking wikipedia! She knows her stuff but she listens to my ignorance and is patient with me. She has bold strength that defends and a calm strength that comforts. She is constantly giving up of herself and is the definition of loyalty!
Kate is square peg in a round world. As the queen of mistakes, I know I can love past any, so I love unconditionally. I bring everything back to God and will find a reason to be thankful in any situation.

My point is, I adore these girls! And I adore us! I am so proud of us for not allowing the distance to keep us apart. It didn't stop Sarah from helping mend Michelle's and my fraying relationship. It didn't stop Michelle and I from being there for Sarah when her heart was breaking. It won't stop us from loving each other.

And that is a worthy enough reason to feel a moment of pure joy!

I want to know that Jesus loves me! There are plenty of verses in the Bible that say He loves others...
Jesus looked at him and loved him (Mark 10:21) Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus (John 11:5) Having loved his own who were in the world (John 13:1) the disciple whom Jesus loved (John 13:23) To all in Rome who are loved by God (Romans 1:7)
... but I am not "him", my name is not Martha, I am not Jewish, I am not that disciple, and I don't live in Rome. Where is the verse that says And Jesus loved Katherine Mosquera with all His heart?
I think that because this world overuses the phrase "I love you" it is better that I have Jesus' actions of love rather than His words to prove this to me. But still my selfish little heart wants both the actions and the words! I see His care for me proven every day is little miracles but I want to hear Him whisper it in my ear. I want to feel His arms hugging me and know that kind of security. I want it... not because I don't believe Him unless I see Him but because I doubt it unless I hear it from His mouth. *sigh* I am very short on faith.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

On the bright side, my head is alot smaller now than it was before... too bad my pride just took a beating.

"There are no regrets in life, just lessons." True or False?
I have many regrets that I wish I could erase from my past but then I may find that I erased me today and I like the me today and I like the changes happening in me today and I look forward to who I will be 5 years from today and 5 years from today I will look forward to who I will be 5 year from 5 years. But isn't it a little drastic to say there are no regrets when you really wish you hadn't?